I apologize for tarrying on my postings.
Well, really I’m not sorry. What I apologize is for (I hope) your disappointment in my lack of posting. That sounds selfish doesn’t it? Well, every writer likes readers; otherwise, why would we write? So, I’m sorry for the disappointment. I digress.
What I want to tell you is that I’ve had plenty to write about, but have not had the blessing of the Lord to post. Yes, I ask the Lord for words before I post, and he gives them to me. My ultimate goal in posting is not to be commended for my writing, but to glorify the Lord. After all, I couldn’t write if He did not give me words. He is the Word, you know.
The Lord has been dealing with me. That is not a negative thing. It is a good thing to be dealt with. Has the Lord dealt with you lately? If not, I dare you to ask Him to. Be aware, it is not pretty- you are human and you need dealt with.
I have a bad attitude.
Sometimes I think I’ve gotten a raw deal.
So guess what? He has made me thankful for the “raw deal” by allowing me to be in situations where I choose to be exactly where He wants me.
Always, we have to choose Jesus. It is easy to choose Him when life is going great, and there is little sacrifice given for His sake. It is also easy to choose Him when everything is going awful and you feel your intense need for Him. Do you know when it is hard to choose Him? Everyday.
And that is where I have been: in the everyday. I have been learning to choose him everyday. Some days are great, some are awful, and even still, some are just days. He has given me a season of “just days.”
I wake up, I’m tired. I spill soda all over the kitchen. I run late for work. I yell at my students then realize how I could have handled it better. I make parental mistakes. I feel insecure. I neglect the Lord. I don’t clean my house. I stay up too late. I fail a class. I go completely broke. I fall behind on grading. I feel lonely. The TV breaks. I bag 7000 bags of leaves. I don’t fold laundry for a week. My students vandalize my favorite picture. I remember my life’s regrets. I don’t work out even though my pants are tight. I feel weird. I procrastinate studying, etc, etc, etc…
“Where are you Lord?” I cry. He gives me the Dr. Phil “how’s that working for you?”
It’s not, Lord. It’s not.
So His Spirit fills me-not in a Holy Ghost fall on the floor way-but in His gentleman-like approach.He prompts me by showing me how to handle the everyday in Him. It is hard, but His voice is so precious.
He sees us in our everyday and gives us the soothing “shhhhh child” and and whispers His love into us. In this, I find myself trusting Him and loving more.
I need Him.
I need your love, sweet God, I need you.
I’m thankful that my wonderful Lord has opened my eyes to how badly I need Him and that He loves me so much that He dealt with me. Again.
