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I broke an agreement with myself tonight.

It wasn’t me, it was Jesus.

He told me I was lovely.

And, for once, I believed Him.

He really is jealous for me.

I met a woman named Tiana.  I hope that is how she spells her name.

Poor woman.

She found out Jesus loves her tonight.

She met Him.

She met Him in me.

She couldn’t believe how much He loves her.

She didn’t want Him to love her.

She thought she was not worth His time.

She said she was not worth His money.

She didn’t see it coming.

She felt bad for Him loving her.

But He loved her, relentlessly.

That lovely woman recognized Jesus.

Thank you Lord;

You let me love like you do.

And now I hurt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWKLtJAIklg

My mother, who is in pain 100% of the time, who works even in the depth of her pain, who refuses medicine so as not to become dependent, will openly admit “yes, I am tough.  I am virtuous too.”

She is a virtuous woman.

She is still teaching me.  Everyday I learn from her.  When I find it hard to get out of bed early on a Saturday morning, I think of my mom.  She’d get up, I say to myself.  So I get up.  When I am in pain or extremely tired, I think to myself She’d keep going. So, I keep going.

She says that I amaze her, but really she is amazing herself.  She taught me how to be amazing.

When I find myself feeling shy and socially uncomfortable, I think of how my mom never knows a stranger, and I have confidence.

When I think that having all the responsibility I have is too much, I think of how she taught more than half of her eight children how to read…and do math

and save money

and keep organized

and laugh

and do our best

and persevere

and have confidence

and stand up for ourselves

and listen

and love Jesus.

Yes, when I fear that my children will grow apart from me in their adult years, I remember the times I grew apart from my mom.  I always knew there was nothing I could do or say to make her love me less.

There is  a saying that behind every great man is a great woman.  Well, my dad is a spectacular man, and my mother is his shining star.

My mother, who is in pain 100% of the time, who works even in the depth of her pain, who refuses medicine so as not to become dependent, needs prayer. Please pray for my mommy.

A common statment people say to comfort their brothers and sisters in Christ is, “God won’t give you more than you can handle, so He must think you can handle this.”  Next time you hear someone tell another that God will not give them more than they can handle, gently tell them that it is God’s business to allow us to experience more than we can handle to remind us how badly we need Him.

For goodness sake, if you say this, do a word study on suffering and see what the Spirit says to you.

What (I think) people are referring to when they say that is 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”

That verse is talking about temptation, NOT circumstances.  I will talk about God’s Sovereignty in suffering and horrible circumstances some other time if the Lord allows.

However, this verse in 1 Corinthians is both comforting and annoying to me.  It is comforting because I know that no matter what situation I get myself into, or tantalizing possibilities I am presented with, God will always provide a way for me to turn it down.  Now, He doesn’t promise it will be easy or pain-free; but at least it is possible to rebuke temptation with the same authority that Jesus did when He was tempted in the desert.

It is annoying because…well, sometimes I want to sin.  Yep, I said it.  Some temptations are right up my alley. Then I hear that voice or realize the way out and I am annoyed.  Why, why can I not enjoy sinning this one time without being reminded that there is a way out and that holiness and righteousness is truly my heart’s desire?

Now, I say that flippantly and do NOT wish for the Lord to quiet His voice in my times of temptation. No, I’d rather He get louder.  I’d rather He laugh at my annoyance and rebellious flesh, and present me with greater opportunities to avoid my sin.  I think it would bring Him joy for me to choose righteousness. PLEASE DON’T LET UP, LORD! (See Romans 1, yikes!).

I imagine that when I resist the devil and flee from temptation that my flesh is wrapped around one of my legs weighing me down as I slowly walk away. As I drag myself away, I tell my flesh “Come on, get up.  I’m going whether you want me to or not.” All the while, the Lord takes his scythe and clears the path ahead of me.

It is our bodies that sin, whether it be our mind, actions, or motives. We are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to the Lord. This is our spiritual act of worship (Rom. 12:1) Yes, resisting temptation is a sacrifice and a form of worshiping.  This sacrifice is a lovely fragrance and brings Him great pleasure.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity and becoming attached to hopeless wishing; instead of holding on to fear, become chained by our flesh and obsessions, why not hold on to the promise of His perfecting grace?

“So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).

We act as if we are on the ship of life looking through a porthole upon the sea of mercy. We sing, “If grace were and ocean we’d be sinking.” But we safely sit in our little cabin pining for that ocean of grace to drown our sorrows, fears, insecurities, pains, decisions, consequences, futures, pasts, sins; and the list goes on…

GRACE IS IN OCEAN!

“He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19).

“Before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. .. (Rev. 4:6).

“Why can’t we be floating on our backs effortlessly in the sea of grace while basking in the Son?

Why associate the Lord with your sins? Why not associate God with Glory? Honor? Reverence?

The Heart of the righteous,

The only One who is Holy,

The Living Breath of  everlasting life;

My dear Jesus Christ-

I adore You.

God:

Where have you hidden yourself oh my beloved
You fled having wounded
I pursued but you had gone

In search of you my darling I would scale the highest clouds
Scour wooded valleys, roaring torrents whispering gales

Vous etes mon coeur (You have my heart)

Human:

When you first regarded me
Your eyes filled me with grace
Thereby again my eyes
Merited to adore you

Vous etes mon coeur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eey_cMshtyA

Meditate on His love today.