Truth Or Prayer

I spent years of my life running from this place; this place of love, traded for strife.  But, You continue to show me Your face?

You are relentless

Why, oh Lord,  did You choose for me to be wrapped in your arm’s embrace?

I’m not worthy

The waves surround. I’m a storm in the depths of the sea. It is here You set me high upon the Rock of Grace!

I’m forgiven

Unholy is what I feel as I am falling at Your feet.   You reach out Your scarred hand and say, “What I gave you no one can steal.  Rise up, dear daughter; dance with me.  In my house you have a place.”

And we dance.

Our God Reigns!

A call to prayer,

A call to lead,

Removing each layer,

Others to feed.

When doubt comes

and questions appear,

You still beat the drums

To let me know You’re near.

There is not room

for things of this world,

counted souls close to doom;

many dreams unfurled.

Grant me Your mercy!

Come down with Glory!

Through every controversy

Let me tell Your story.

This is how we are with God:  We learn the truth.  It takes hard work to get there.  We have to suffer and persevere through amazingly difficult things just to quickly discard it because of some sudden feeling of inadequacy and loneliness.

The Dilemma:

I am tired of being a single mom, but have decided it is not the mom part that I am tired of, it is the single part.  However, I am too afraid of relationships to even put an end to this single life.

What is God doing here?

He is teaching me to trust Him.  He is teaching me to be pure (and that hurts). He is teaching me to trust Him. He is showing me how to be loved.  With His love, I can never settle for the mediocre selfish love of humanity again.  I will be adored by my love or have no lover at all.

So, I take captive all thoughts of inadequacy and regret, knowing that this life I have lived has been prayerful.

I will stop looking at the left hands of any handsome man I see and wonder if I am worth his time. My time is too precious and my God says I am worth everything to Him.